Once upon a time,
I had tried to rhyme.
I was really bad,
So that made me really mad.
I worked all day and night,
Even when some ghosts gave me a fright.
I tried and tried,
Until my brain had fried.
Finally it was done.
I decided to take a nap in the sun.
When I woke up,
my paper was as fried as a burnt pup.
3 comments:
I think it was creative but next time it would be fun to write on a more interesting subject.
I really appreciate how you are working with poetry to try and advance yourself as a writer. I noticed that you use the word I quite often in this poem. In the future, I would suggest either using vocabulary to create a theme. You could use advanced literary devices as the main structure. Otherwise, I would suggest enhancing the vocabulary and stretching yourself to use more descriptive words.
I like Mr. Roehl's comment. I would add, while this poem is fun, and there is a place for that, certainly, there is also a place for you to start writing at a deeper level, advancing yourself to the next stage as a student, and as a young adult.
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