My book responses

When the tree falls
Author's note: I started to read this book called River, Cross my heart and in the first 4 chapters it talks about how a little girl Clara drowns and I want to write a response on what I have read so far. My goal in this piece is to have good voice so you will think it's a 6 year old girl is telling you her story. I am assuming that this is how she talked. I also want to have good organization, so you will be able to tell when the paragraphs are supposed to end and new ones are starting.

I practically have to run to keep up with Johnnie Mae and everyone else. I occasionally have to duck under a branch and fall even farther back. I try to yell to Johnnie Mae to slow down so I can catch up but the sun is so hot I can barely yelp since my throat's so dry. Suddenly I can hear the rush of water and I know where Johnnie's bringing us. She's bringing us to the three sisters. The three sisters are these three islands on the Potomac River. A myth says that they were three nuns that had drowned in this river and became the three islands. Out of nowhere a branch nails me in the face and I can feel the trickle of blood run down my forehead and drips off the tip of my nose. While I rub my forehead to find the cut I feel my foot sink into the ground. I start running ahead and run into a clearing.

I finally made it to the clearing and right away my sister starts  yelling at me for dawdling around the forest. I quietly say sorry, and walk over to the water. I cup my hands and pick up some water. Right before the water hit my lips Johnnie Mae yelled at me and said, "Don't drink that! Here's some water you can drink," then she quickly pulled out a bottle of water. I quickly took a sip of the crystal clear water and feel it rush down my throat. I quickly take another sip and put it back in our bag and head for the huge tree trunk that is in the water. I sit down and join in on the conversation. After the sun hits about half way up in the sky Johnnie and all the other girls jump into the water and start to swim around. I scoot to the end of trunk. I sit there a while, then all of a sudden the trunk starts sliding into the water. I try to run back to the shore but the end of my skirt is  caught on a stick. I try to pull it but it won't give. I see that the water is now up to my hips, and moving up rapidly. now I try to swim back to the shore to see if the water will help. It doesn't. Now I start screaming for help but the water runs into my mouth so it only sounds like a gurgle. Now my head is all the way under the water.

 I try to swim back up to the surface to get a quick breath but my little legs aren't strong enough to pul my body onto the surface.The tree pulls me further under the water. Slowly I feel my lungs and everything else in my body give out.  I see my air slowly rise to the surface in little bubbles. I slowly start to close my eyes. Right before I black out I feel my pant leg get pulled from the tree and I feel myself getting pulled away from the shore. Then right as my eyes close I feel my pretty white bow slip off my hair and rise to the surface.

A Game of Nightmares (Rue's point of view) Part 1: Before the Games
Author's note: I found this website that generates a random character, a random trait for your MC, a random theme for your story, and a random setting. I had gotten a Main Character that is a female, my main character trait is their intuition, the theme point is loss and my story will start in a Game. Luckily for me mine works for the Hunger games so I will be Rue's point of view. This is the website's link: http://www.feath.com/idea/pointidea.htm... My goal in this writing piece is to have good organization, sentence fluency and a good thesis statement.


All of a sudden I wake up to a sharp pain in my arm. I sit up and then I'm reminded that I am in the Capitol. When I look at my arm I notice that I have this tracking bracelet on my arm. I am worried that my designer's will come back at any moment and get me all ready to go into that place. That place called The Arena. Every year during the games they have a new arena. This year I hope they have a lot of trees. I'm good and jumping from tree to tree. I also know how to tell normal berries from poisonous ones.

All of a sudden a door appears out of the wall and I think to myself, 'What if they are coming to get me for the games?' Then fear rushes through my body and my hands clench into a fist. Luckily it's only that lady that came to the reaping to announce that I was in the Hunger Games this year. She says it's time for dinner. 'Great,' I think to myself, more people staring at me and thinking, 'Oh, she's going to die right away,' or, 'I feel so bad. She is so young. Hopefully she doesn't die to painfully.'

When, I finally make it to the dining room I see Thresh has already dug into his plate, and is eying mine. Once I sit down , they start to take away the appetizer, and then they start handing out the salads. The salads have bright green lettuce, some orange sticks, some purple chunks, and this weird orange dressing on top. I take a bite of it and a rainbow of flavors dance in my mouth. I kept eating all the food that was handed to me until dinner was over. Then I hobbled off to my room.

Once I finally made it to my room I collapsed of my bed and fell asleep. Suddenly I woke up I had noticed that I was still wearing the clothes that I had worn to dinner. While moving very slowly I got off my bed, changed into new clothes and looked at my clock. Oh no! I'm late for training, Thresh is gonna kill me. Once I'm done starring and the clock I start running around my room and throw the clothes on that someone had put on my bed with a note that said training on it. I throw open my door and run to the elevator. Right once I arrived at the elevator Thresh was standing there waiting for me and the elevator door slowly opened behind him. He walks into it and said in a deep, gruff voice, "Well are you just going to stand there?"

I quickly run into the elevator and wait for us to arrive at the training center. Once the elevator doors open all eyes are on us. There isn't any reason other than that we are 5 minutes late. Thresh and I slowly walk towards all the other unfortunate Tributes. Well not all of them. Some of them are called careers. These people are usually from districts 1,2 and 3. This year the careers are bigger and meaner than usual. While their eyes are piercing through me I walk to an empty spot in the circle and start listening to the main trainer while she explains about each station and what we will learn in them. Finally she let's us start.

I slowly walk over to the camouflage station. The trainer see's me but he's to busy with another tribute. When I see what tribute he's working with I see that it's Katniss. I quickly look away and get to work. Soon into this the trainer comes over and see's my work. He says he very impressed. I noticed that Katniss heard his compliment and is now looking at me. I can't tell if her look is a hateful glare, or if she's trying to understand me. I quickly get up and head to another station.

I head to the knot tying station. When I get their the person who's working at this station comes over and starts helping me. He teaches me a few tricks on how to catch an animal and stuff like that. Finally the main trainer announces that today's training is finally over. I quickly run out of their and head to my room.

Once I got to my room, I had put on my pajamas and ordered to have my dinner brought up to me. After waiting about 20 minutes a boy with bright colored eyes and really blond hair came and brought me my dinner. I had thanked him but he only nodded, then he shuffled awkwardly out of the room. I dug in right once he left. The meal was amazing. Once I had finished it I quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, I was super sore. I had slowly got up and went to the bathroom. When I was brushing my teeth I had decided to take a shower. Once I got into it I saw all different kinds of buttons. I had quickly pressed the buttons that had said, warm water, lavender shampoo, mint conditioner, massaging. The water had started abruptly. The shower was amazing, I had never felt anything better in my life. Once the water had stopped I had slowly got out. Then I got dressed in my training outfit. When I finished getting dressed I looked at the clock and noticed that I had to leave for the elevator now. So I had walked out of my room and headed toward the elevator. When I finally made it to the elevator Thresh was there already and we got into the elevator. When we finally got down to the training room we noticed we were the first ones there today.

Slowly more and more tributes started to fill up the training room. Then the main trainer made the same announcement and today was pretty much the same as yesterday. Then we went down to dinner. Then I went back to bed. Tomorrow was the exact same thing.

Finally today is the scoring day. I slowly get out of bed and get my training outfit on and head to the elevator. Thresh is waiting for my then I get there. We ride down the elevator silently but we could feel the tension between us. Once we get down to the training center we take our seats outside of it that said our district numbers. I silently wait and wait, and then they finally called Thresh's name. Suddenly I get a bunch of butterflies in my stomach. About 15 minutes later Thresh walks out and the trainer calls the next name.... She called my name.

I slowly get off my chair and walk into the room. When the game master people said that I could start I headed over to thee knot station and made all the knots I could. When they finished inspecting all my knots they said I could leave . I've never ran away from something this fast and awkward before. When I got to the waiting room I quietly sat in my seat until everyone was done. Then I ran to my room and fell asleep.

The next morning at breakfast the weird announcer said that they are showing the results tonight. While she announces this I start to feel a little naseau. Thresh looks at me and puts his hand on my shoulder to steady me. I quietly said thank you and started eating. Once I finally finished eating I went in my room and hid in their until the results came. I rushed into the dining room and watched all the results. The careers all got 9 ir 10's. The people from all the other districts got 5 or 6's. Thresh got a 8, and I got a 6. Then what shocked all of us is that Katniss got an 11! When we all looked at her she looked like she wanted to cry.

When the scoring was over I went to my room and took a nap. I woke up to my prep team poking me saying that it's time to get ready for the arena. I slowly get up while they are getting my clothes ready. Once I finally put on my arena outfit they start doing my hair up in pigtails. Then my main prepper comes and gives me a little pep talk and brings me to my loading dock.

When we finally make it there I get onto my tube and it closes around me and brings me me up. When I see my surrounding I see trees, and the cornocopia, and a huge sea. Then out of nowhere I hear the announcer announce, 'Let the 74th annual Hunger Games begin in 5.... 4.... 3.... 2.... 1, BEEEEP.
To Be continued...



1 comment:

Unknown said...

In response to the first entry on the book about a drowning girl, I would have to say first of all that I really enjoyed the strong voice, and the way you used an imaginative way to see things as the character did. Do mention in your author's note that you were trying to do just that. Well composed in general for word choice and sentence structure. Look to incorporating more creative elements when you do fiction again. Meanwhile, turn your hand to other styles of response next time.